Saturday, September 15, 2012

12 Sep 15 - It's time to let it go

I wonder how many times this will happen in life.
Was it due to the curse I placed upon myself?
How do I dispel the curse?

An entity of non-existence,
I do not wish to just materialize,
I wish to only exist within a special someone.

Am I really that dangerous?
I dont regret loving you.. You're one very sweet person.
It's too bad I cant be the one to take care of you.

So I offer you my last gift, the gift of "safety" that you spoke off.
I'll watch you from afar, keeping my distance, N' Fang.

Here a Goddess of happiness cries,
An endless timeless lullaby.
Sings her song of the dreams she had,
The sadness fills her eyes.

End of love, love is gone,
No more dreams to dream about so life, is done.
If it's so, cut the thread,
It's time to let it go....

Tears they flow to the thirst of the Gods,
The ocean roars drowned out by rain.
Blameless wolf carries on alone,
The silence now surrounds him.

Sooner than, dreaming ends,
Morning of the dawn will bring another day,
Turn around, you have found,
A different place to dream.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

12 Sep 11 - Amazing Reply

Pretty depressed lately, due to those I called friends are somehow "faking" things out to rip something out of me, either money, knowledge or just when I'm useful to them.

When I'm useless, they just ignores me entirely.

I've observes the situation for quite a while and it's very obvious.

While browsing upon something that may help with my depression:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100517122612AA3oe0k

"1st, know you're not wrong. You are being brainwashed, but it isn't quite as intentional or sinister as you might think. Society creates a framework so that future generations can grow up and support that framework. It may sound awful to you, but if such a system weren't in place, there would be too many elements in society pulling in too many directions and it wouldn't grow. Most of this guiding force happens without the direct knowledge of the people doing it. Schools train kids to think a certain way, which helps them live in the society they are a part of. Many people prefer this system. Things are more certain, less scary. You merely have to follow the rules society sets, and you get rewarded by the system.
For you the bad news is that you are on the fringe. You are a small segment of society that does not want to be 'the masses.' Your path will a difficult one with many obstacles and people on the other side of the fence.
The good news for you is that there are and have been many others like you.
If you want to obtain a level of peace and understanding in the world, you need to do these things:
1. You need some objectivity. You are so immersed and involved with society, that it is hard to see anything else.
One way to do this is to realize that society is an invention of man. The earth is its own force separate from society. People lie cheat and position themselves with ulterior motives. Nature is brutally honest (and therefore pure and simple). A flood will kill you, but Nature never said it wouldn't. If it rains, you will get wet. There is a cause and effect that you can understand. Taunt a bear in the wild, you will die.
Now realize that as a human, you are as much a part of society (a thing created by man) as you are an animal in nature. See society as a thing with all these rules as an object, and nature with it's clear rules as another object. If you are frustrated by the object created by man, look to the one that exists in nature. Look at trees and birds, and realize that if you envy their simplicity, you have just as much right as an animal to live in that natural world. I am not saying to go live in a forest, but realize that a house is both a unit inside a society as it is a structure built on earth, surrounded by trees and air a part of nature. Which you choose to see it as is what you decide based on what object (nature or society) you view it.
Further naturalistic perspective: Think of the universe. All the great works of man on earth will burn up when the sun goes supernova, and the universe will not only never miss us, it will continue on as if our whole existence was a heart beat. Universal nature couldn't care less about Putin.

2. Because you choose not to be a 'productive' member of society, you need to find your own path. This means you need to be your own teacher (no other will do it for you). You need to read and learn so that you can find your own place and purpose in life. You need to embark on your search for self. You must become an open person, and fill yourself with as much as you can, and then use that to choose your own direction. Learn about things you may not think you will like. If you only adopt 1% of it, you will be a better person.

Do this by learning about psychology. (Find books or take a class) Do this! It is important for you to learn how your brain works and why it does what it does. Many of your actions are based in aspects of your psychology, and if you don't understand the underlying causes, you will always twist in the wind. You need to study this so that you can also understand why other people do what they do. You may be mad at people because they act in ways you don't like. Learn why they act these ways. Once you do, you will learn to separate the person (outward actions) from the collection of psychological impulses.
Read these books:
"Walden" by Henry David Thoreau: It will show you how to live as an individual.
"The Tao of Poo" by Benjamin Hoff: Will introduce you to Taoism (philosophy of living in harmony with nature and how it will change how you live with people)
"The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge" by Carlos Castaneda: It will expand your consciousness to something beyond yourself.
Read about Buddhism. They believe that the world is a lie (a fog), and only by rejecting that fake world do you come close to divinity.
Study Astronomy so you realize how small we are (and the problems we make for ourselves), and study Chaos Theory and quantum mechanics (Watch the DVD: What the Bleep do we Know) because you will find that there is 'magic' in this universe worth exploring.
3. Toil. You are a being of your mind, which is one small part of your body. To balance yourself out, you need to engage your body (not sex) as a part of this world. Whether that is exercise, gardening, sports, physical labor, you need to develop your body for no other reason that your body is how you interface with the world. Stimulus comes to you from the world through your body. You may not think it important, but the more brain heavy you are, the more isolated you are from the real world (not society), so get your hands dirty.
4. Learn how to live in both worlds. You live in a society, so you have to follow its rules sometimes. Find ways to play the game when you must, but live as a creature of nature the rest of the time.
5. Let this single word be your guide until you find your own:
ADVENTURE
See everything in your life as an adventure. The dark stuff is just an adventure into the dark realm of life. Dealing with classmates is an adventure into the inner workings of the social machine."


Well said. Whoever you are, I appreciate it. :)